Destitute Living Sept, 1999

a simple man and his wife till their land
hard muscles frame every inch of his body
she void of expression toils beside her man
testament to their life of labor, the sun beats down on his already
darkened skin. the sweat and salt of his body falls to the earth...
readily swallowed by the parched soil he tills. children bear the yoke
of labor bravely... aged before their years illiteracy reigns...
squashing any means of escape from their squalor. a shiny four wheel
machine draws near. the man stops his labor... the children run
excitedly toward this sleek symbol of wealth, laughing at their
reflections upon its shine. out of the cool comfort a haughty face
emerges, a sneer poverty at the poverty twitches at the corners of the
unsmiling mouth a piece of paper waved words harshly barked out
fear descends upon the family of simple peasants
their future unknown "make way you peasant folk
your presence is an UNWANTED OBSTRUCTION to the progress of this
nation make way,
i care not for your discomfort nor your uncertain future
all that MATTERS to me is gold to keep my coffers full
and your family starves, all the matters is that my coffers overflow

Expectant Anxieties Sept 1999

i can feel you move within me
strange undescribable sensations
i wonder if you feel my anxieties
as i ponder our future

i must try to be the best
hoping to give all that i can
trying to make sure you are never wanting
i continue to work myself into a frenzy

come little one into our lives
be that torch that shines on the path
that we must tread hand in hand
as we make the journey together

Destiny - undated

it is with great regret that i view life with a slice of malice

for without hesitation she has oft had me trod upon
even as a child, i had the brutal force of man
so rudely implanted within me
my cries were in vain, for the world labeled me trash
a child with nowhere to turn, written words my only solace

as i flourished into womanhood
the scars were deep and would not heal
trust was something i had little to give
love was something i found hard to find
life throws her pitfalls so constantly
i wonder if there is a story no one has told me

rude awakenings, forced attentions, the word "abuse"
has my name to it, for the slime of nature ceaselessly pursue me

i lie here now all naked and torn,
i will never mend again, i know
still i feel that destiny has but played me another cruel hand
for i still lie and breathe
when all i desire is to feel
earth's weight upon my coffin

Unattended PO Box Mar 5, 2006

SEND US YOUR HEART! it said
And we'll fill it with LOVE!
scarcely knowing what to expect
I pulled my heart out and sent it along
to the PO Box address that the advert carried
HEART BACK it read promising one that returned
TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE IN THE ART OF LOVE
I waited in anticipation
Hoping each day that my heart would
Find its way back full of my expectations
Waiting and waiting
Was all I did
Never did my heart come back to find me
Now heartless I walk around
Not able to love
For that important vessel MY HEART
Is now in some PO Box unattended

untitled poem Mar 5, 2006

Barefoot reality
Still walking
Remembering certain
Foreign morning
Silky dew
Confusing tragedy
Losing delicious innocence
A remembered time

JaanuJaan Feb 27,2005

Once a butterfly came and sat on my shoulder
and whispered your name
I asked it why your name and
it replied for it had seen mine in the depths of your eyes
I thanked the little butterfly
and wished it well in its flight of life
And lingered for a moment tasting your name as it formed on my tongue
So simple in its beauty
It was music to my ears
I felt wings upon my feet as my heart took flight to find
My love my life my future
I embraced your name as it rolled off my tongue
Feeling your heart embrace mine
Upon the meeting of the two hearts the names merged into one
Forever bound in love and hope

untitled poem Dec 12,1993

Dearest Man,

to say i love you not
twists my heart into knots
for when those eyes glance my way
my life is thrown into total disarray
for my life i surrender
knowing within "oh what a blunder"
foolishly optimistic am i
that this valentine you'll be mine

Woman

untitled poem Jun 30,1999

Salt and spice
The scent hangs heavy
Permeating the air
Into unified stench
Bodies glisten, necks strain
Heads held high
Beasts of burden
Walk on by

untitled poem Oct 20,1999

Dancing twirling
Spinning free
Swing on
Then set me free
Words sounds
Voices one
Silence shattered
Forever gone
Walking running
Marching by
Bullets blood
Bodies lay

untitled poem Sept 26,1999

Hodge podge
Slush and muck
Water earth
Boulders Rocks
Houses perched
Precarious stance
Call the ministers
Get the press
Issue statement
Sad old fact
Classic case
Tis but God's act.

untitled poem Sept 24,1999

The night was still
Not abreeze was felt
I wondered at this silence
In its deafening presence
We might have spoken
We might have cried
I do not remember
But the silence of the night
The skies were starless
The moon hid its face
How distant all seemed
In the uncrushable quiet
We ought to have spoken
We ought to have cried
I remember now remorseful
As darkness gave way to light

Despair ... Feb 13, 2008

poised on crumbling ledge
pain embodied
at crossroads
yet too far out on the edge
stained, once healthy cheeks
now sunk sullen and bleak
futile search through swollen eyes
half blinded from tears cried
alone, afraid, anxious
disconsolate, despondent, desolate
forward or to retreat, reconsider
questions and more questions
precariously perched looking down
despair tips the scales
plunging silently
head first into oblivion
thud shatters
an otherwise noiseless end

Writing May 21, 2007

I sit at my desk
thinking
pondering
wondering
what makes us connect
letters into words
expressions and emotions
stringing sentences
creating images
and thus end up writing

An Ode To Online Mates May 21, 2007

tippity tap, tippity tap
fingers flying across keyboard
when I hit Send or Enter
my thoughts are splashed across to you
you in the next cubicle
you across the lands and seas
I am the future girl
GoogleTalk, YM, ICQ, MSN
surely you've met me sometime
if you have come say hi
share a smile a word a ear
.ani unplugged is what you get
this could the catalyst
the start of something
worth exploring

Fragile Silence May 19, 2007

Hush I behest you hush
Do not awaken the little ones
Hush I beg you hush
Do not encroach upon my solitude

Hush I plead please hush
So few are the moments to myself
Hush oh for peace sakes hush
I need to think

Without appreciating my need for this
You come and destroy that very fragility
I cling so selfishly unto like drowning man to straws
My silence broken by the voices calling out to me

Water May 17, 2007

Rhythmic gurgling
Gentle on my ears
I lay here next to you
Dreaming of the trails you weave
Where from do you spring forth
And does your journey begin or end
When river meets the ocean
I am lulled by your endless song
As my dreams of tomorrow
Get whisked away to unknown places
Shall I follow you or lay here still
I cannot yet conclude
Your song now has made heavy my eyes
I choose to dream
Accompanied by your ancient tunes
Chasing rainbows can wait for now
My soul is dancing and so I rest

Monsoon Magic May 16, 2007

blistering scorching heatwave
all eyes turn heavenward
seeking that illusive rain cloud
amongst the endless blue

swirling dust on parched dry earth
riverbeds begin to show
yet again eyes cast to distant horizon
still yet nothing that tells of rain

from dawn to dusk the air is heavy
humidity makes my hair all frizzy
my movements are lumbering and heavy
as the fan swirls back not cool but hot air

Dear God I pray at night
Sweet showers of blessings send tonight
That on the morrow I may awaken
drenched not in perspiration

was that a distant thunder that I heard?
was that a flash of hinting lightening?
Oh joy I hear the first pitter patter
as the thirsting earth welcomes those first drops
dry cracks like starving children greedily soak

smiles cross many tired weary faces
like rebirth; oh beautiful rain
you cool the earth and put song in my heart
like a magic wand you life my spirits
and soon the world is silenced by music from the skies

Rain Watching Apr 03, 2007

beat you rain against my window
washing away the dust that stains my vision
in angry torrents you pour all around me
taking the grime washing my hurts away
cleaned and cleansed a new may
I arise stronger than before
refreshed rejuvenated
as those rivulets of rain
rush away from my shady refuge
lead my aspirations give birth to hopes
seeking and forging unbreakable bonds
of a future uncertain yet pregnant with promise
a calm that resides at the end of every storm

~untitled~ Apr 02, 2007

words spoken actions taken
from a time when the sun shone on tender blooms
here now lay petals crushed
hushed words unspoken
bear the silence of unrequited dreams

You Sept 09, 2007

my mind is filled
with thoughts of you
i know you hurt
please let me help
we'll wipe each others tears
glue back those pieces
shattered and bruised
at the hands of the uncaring

you stoic and silent
push me not away
i mean you no malice
my need of you is just as much
in your strength i find mine
in your silence i find peace

aspiring hope are you
like a blossom budding
your sunshine let me be
tenderly welcoming
watching your emergence
firmly I believe
the hand I in future hold
belongs to none but you

Malaysia is 50 Aug 14, 2007

Fifty years post independence
Still those in power fail
To acknowledge our interdependence
Of peoples so varied and colourful
Each having their place in pushing us forward
Come Malaysia open your eyes
Give each of us our rightful place
We sing 'Tanah Tumpahnya Darahku'
Our blood our sweat our tears
The same no matter from whom it spills
Golden jubilee with pomp and pageantry
Look within, look back, then present and future
Diversity we must capture and sustain
Appreciate and celebrate
There is much more to achieve
As one people, one nation
We await the day when we can proudly say
Bangsa : Malaysia
Happy Birthday my homeland
Let not the blown candle smoke mar the visions
Alive in the hearts of your people

Forced Silence Aug 05, 2007

A million questions
As many assumptions
Preconceived presumptions
Free radical thoughts
Gamut of uncontrolled emotions
We stare at each other
Words building into crescendos
Pushing against mouth and tongue
Rebellious upon our lips
Wanting to speak
Express the mayhem
Withheld in forced silence
Eyes and touch do the talking
Of the sorrows that unite us

What Should You Love Jul 24, 2007

I love the feel of a gentle breeze
Caressing my skin
I love the smell of the earth
After heavy rainfall
I love the warmth I feel
Holding sleeping babies
I love the images and story
Told in a dance
I love seeing the smiles radiant
On faces of loved ones
I love the tinkling laughter
Children unburdened have
I love to know that somewhere
Someone cares
All these things I love
The least I love is me

Relationship Cycle Jul 25, 2007

PART I
You win I lose
The sword’s drawn from its sheath
Hungry for blood
The glistening blade
Finds that throbbing vein
The wailing of loved ones
From a din to distant whisperings
I am drawn into the darkness
Of this unending abyss
Searching for a sliver of light
My actions my words
Bespeak the state of my tumultuous mind
And yet the masses only see with glazed eyes
A mask of plastered smiles and depth less laughter
Envious of my state of being

PART II
You win I win
Same old me different you
Always leaving me breathless
Wanting more
Again they watch you as they watch me
Hoping to see derision drive wedges between us
I’m hopeful you’re reassuring
Your love so healing like balm on scorched parched skin
I ask too many questions
You give so many answers
Patient as ever reaching always reaching
For my heart that I’m afraid reveals too much
Love comes into my soul
Floods my senses and drowns the pains
Like parched fields after a monsoon
Awakening re-emerging embracing life
I feel you course your way through me
Leaving deep ploughed rows
Sown with seedlings of love bouquets
Ever bursting in rainbow hues
Envy still alongside always; keep your distance
Faith, hope and love keep us bound in eternal promised happiness

PART III
You lose I lose
Same old me minus you
Like a cleaver to my chest
I gouged my heart to free myself
How from heaven to this hell
How from smiles to these tears
How from promise to just fears
How did it all dissipate into broken glass?
Tossing and turning
Hiding emotions seeking answers
Too late now there is no recourse
I stand now but with a handful of dust