I stare at the date on the calendar and it stares back at me
Goading me to ignore its significance
But I am weak and I succumb to the memories
Lurking there on the fringes of my mind
Was it not later in that evening sometime ago?
You held me in your arms as we stood in silence
Basking still from the sweetness of our first kiss
That left us breathless and stole my heart
In the sky the moon played hide and seek with the clouds
Down below I held you closer, not wanting to lose my moonbeam
You called me Jaanu, you called me Patni, and you called me Soni
You, in Hindi, sang to me and wrote me poetry
In each other’s arms, skin on skin matching heartbeats
You took me on a journey of our future as man and wife
Bit by bit you tore down my walls of caution
You had me there completely soul bared and vulnerable
Why then did a side of you rear its ugly head?
Each and every strike of those same hands that once caressed I still feel
No more sweet words came forth only curses and demeaning hatred
Unwillingly I was pulled into hell once again and shattered dreams lay around my feet
As those images and memories form in my head
My eyes grow misty, blurred with hot uninvited tears
The pain is as intense now as it was then, the wound is still raw
So much time has since passed Jaan
Yet I am still held captive in my broken heart’s unresolved struggles
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